[ there's something wrong with clarisse and she can feel it. wonderland hasn't ever depowered her before, so she isn't sure what it is at first, she just knows that she feels wrong. it could just be an off day, but she's never been this off before. she went out for target practice earlier and missed every single one. it's like she doesn't even know how to shoot anymore, and it's the same with every other weapon she tries to practice with.
the frustration is clear in her voice. she knows she and adam don't have the best relationship — it's more of a work in progress than anything — but, well, she can't go to anyone else because she can't be sure if it's just her or all non-mortals, and adam is the only mortal she knows that isn't rachel. she could go to rachel, but she has a feeling asking rachel to punch her would be some kind of violation of her truce with percy. (she doubts rachel would, anyway.) she can't be 100% positive adam will be willing to be part of her little experiment, either, but she needs to figure this shit out. she might even ask nicely. sort of. ]
Adam, it's Clarisse. I need you to do something for me. [ okay, so she's not really asking, but... ] Can you meet me outside the mansion ASAP? [ there, that was a question. at least she's not demanding he do so. she's trying. ] It's important.
No good thing ever happens when a god, or a part god, or God dials you up, asking you to do something. Oh, hell no, is Adam's first reaction, followed by fuck, no. His gut tells him not to bother, because taking the cheese is how stupid mortal men get into trouble. Fatal, soul-shattering trouble, the kind that starts with "I need you to do something" and "meet me in the Beautiful Room so we can torture you until Dean gives in."
Michael needing a human sacrifice had been important, too, depending on who you asked.
Clarisse isn't one of them, he knows that, and Percy might have even tried to promote their kind as being of better stock, but until Wonderland Adam had been paying off the last mysterious favor he'd done with bits of his humanity.]
Something like what?
[He's wary, and definitely regrets picking up the phone. He thought maybe her calling his device had been about something else, like Luke. What she'd want from him is anybody's guess, but he hadn't been expecting some divine entity to hit him up for a personal meeting, sounding frazzled.
Good thing it's event time or he'd just flat out say "no."]
[ on any other day, he'd have a pretty good excuse to be wary. but today clarisse is about as threatening as a paper bag. maybe a very thick paper bag, but a paper bag nonetheless. her attitude is still in tact, though, just not her skill for, well, anything violent. she tries not to sound on edge with him for questioning her, but she's frustrated and she just wants to get this over with without all the whats and the whys. ]
Something like just get your ass out here and I'll explain then. [ she's not going to take no for an answer, adam. and just because she feels like she's at the end of her rope, she grumbles and adds, almost begrudgingly: ] Please. [ congratulations, adam, you'll probably never hear that word escape her lips ever again. ]
[Paper bag or not, Clarisse isn't entirely human, and Adam gives her the respect that status deserves. Non-humans in his experience are known to be bigger and stronger, and you don't mess with them unless you're prepared for the bull to give you some horns up your ass.
But Adam also doesn't do well with them ordering him around anymore. He'd rather take the horns than another passive ride to Hell.]
How about explain now.
[Sure, the wards in his room probably aren't designed for other divine things like gods, but with her practically demanding he come out from behind him, it makes him wonder if he shouldn't stay exactly where he is...
And then she says "please," of all things. That is surprising, considering 1) she doesn't like his face, 2) he's already proven he's a weak human, and 3) Clarisse doesn't seem like she bends for anyone, least of all someone composed of the first two points. That, more than anything, gets his attention. If she's serious, what could she possibly need from him that she can't do herself?
His tone changes, turning more slow and questioning.]
What's going on with you?
voice; NO NEVER SHE IS HERE TO MAKE HIS LIFE DIFFICULT.
[ clarisse inhales sharply, about ready to go off on him and demand he gets his ass down here or she'll come find him herself and then hang up on him, when his tone shifts and the way he asks what's going on with her feels all too familiar because this is just voice, and without the face to remind her that adam isn't luke, all she hears is luke. it's harder to make the distinction without being able to see adam's body language, the way he holds himself less confidently, the obvious lack of a scar, the subtle differences in his expressions. and for just a moment, all she hears is the camp counselor she used to look up to, and it's almost as jarring as her seeming lack of control over every weapon known to man.
it's that fact that has her sighing instead of replying with a string of frustrated demands and expletives. he managed to catch her off guard, entirely by accident, but it's probably better that he did. she doubts he would've taken well to her yelling at him, and that wouldn't have solved anything. the fact that she's actually trying to approach this calmly and rationally says a lot about her patience and determination to actually see this through. she knows threats of violence don't always work, it's usually just easier that way. this time she knows she's going to have to do it the hard way if she actually wants results. she just hates having to be vulnerable to get what she wants. ]
It's — [ she grumbles again, pinching the bridge of her nose as she does so. ] Wonderland. It — It did something to me. Which is why I need you. Everyone else I could ask isn't exactly mortal. [ she can't even ask america, because that crazy motherfucker can apparently grow back limbs. she's not entirely sure what his status is as far as immortality is concerned, but he's definitely not mortal, that's for sure. adam is her only option. ]
[Is this the same girl who'd seemed like she'd been ready to kill him once? Adam has a terrible ear for sincerity, but Clarisse sounds like she's honest-to-god hung up on something, and that she honest-to-god thinks he can do something about it.]
Whoa, whoa, wait-- [He interjects, confused.] What do you think I can do?
[He's more surprised she's holding his mortality up as a virtue than he is about Wonderland doing something to her. In retrospect, maybe he should stop letting Wonderland desensitize him to weirdness.]
[ there isn't so much as a pause before clarisse answers his question, more determined than ever. ] Punch me. [ it's that simple, adam. ] Or try. The test is to see if I can dodge, and we both know you've got a lousy arm. If it works, I'm not as fucked as I think I am, but if not... [ well, let's just say she won't be joining any fight clubs while she's like this, or fighting any wars. she doesn't want to think about the possibility of wonderland depowering her against, say, the jabberwocky. she can't even begin to imagine how fucked she'd be. ] I'll cross that bridge if I come to it. [ hopefully it won't come to it. ] Now, are you going to help me or not?
voice; WOW, AND HE KILLED HER AT FULL STRENGTH, TOO.
[He's a tad insulted by that, even if compared to a demi-god's fists of fury everyone's arm probably seems lousy.]
Let me get this straight so I understand this--you want me to try fighting you and if I win, that's proof Wonderland dumbed you down? This is why no one likes gods or angels.
[Yeah, he should be insulted. Him possibly standing eye-to-eye with someone like her is a sign the world is ending for her. Why doesn't she just ask him to feed her boars for her and kick him in the nuts at the same time?
He sighs. This isn't surprising in the slightest.]
[ she's not even going to bother dignifying that first question with a response. it would just be rude, and she's trying her hardest not to piss him off right now, so it's better left unanswered, honestly. he probably already knows the answer, anyway.
but now it's her turn to be a tad bit offended, because, whoa. she's not a god, okay. she's not even close to being on their level, so she'd really appreciate it if he didn't compare them. she might be kind of an asshole, but she's nowhere near godly assholeishness. ]
You know, just for the record, I'm not a god. I'm being straight with you here, Adam. I won't even take a swing at you. [ at least not one that he couldn't dodge. ] I'm just trying to test my reflexes, see if my instincts are still intact, and I can't do that with anyone or anything else. If you don't want to help, fine, just fucking tell me so I don't keep embarrassing myself.
voice; MORTALITY, BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER SINCE 2014.
[How is she not a god? She's part god, isn't that close to the same thing? They're getting off track, but that's another thing he'd like cleared up one day on top of why she's calling him up for this illustrious duty.]
Thanks.
[Yeah, thanks, don't ask him to hit you and then not hit him back. Because hitting him back would just be weird in all of this.
Sarcasm game is strong today.]
Calm down, it's not like I'm texting everybody in the mansion to tell them you turned klutzy. I don't get it. If Wonderland just nerfed you a bit, wouldn't just be... [Seriously, don't shoot the messenger just because he doesn't know the politically correct terms for this stuff.] ... human? What's so strange about that?
[ she tries her hardest not to roll her eyes, but it's becoming increasingly difficult not to fall back on her condescension as a crutch. she is still part god, and unfortunately for most demigods, their pride is their fatal flaw. humbling herself even this much is more of a miracle than jesus turning water into wine. ]
Mortal. I'm already human. [ well, part human. ] And being mortal means ... [ i'm useless, she doesn't say, because. well. that's probably about as offensive as it gets when the conversation you're currently having is with a mortal. she grumbles, pinching the bridge of her nose. ] Look, it doesn't matter, I just need to figure this shit out.
[Being "mortal" means... what? He doesn't see the way she sees, but then he's only ever been one thing: just an unremarkable human. If anything, coming out of Heaven and Hell, seeing what he's seen... it makes him less of one, not more.
Unless Clarisse chooses to break it down for him, he doesn't expect he'll ever get it. Wanting to test her reflexes by having someone get into a fistfight with her doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but Adam's beginning to at least understand that's the language Clarisse seems to be fluent in.]
[ oh, thank the gods, finally. she's so tired of talking in circles trying to convince him to actually do this. but at least he is actually going to help her, so that's more than she was really expecting. she already sounds about five times less agitated. ]
Just outside the mansion. I'm already here, so just. You know, don't take all damn day getting down here.
[ and that's all he'll hear from her until he meets her outside. ]
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voice » are you ready for this
the frustration is clear in her voice. she knows she and adam don't have the best relationship — it's more of a work in progress than anything — but, well, she can't go to anyone else because she can't be sure if it's just her or all non-mortals, and adam is the only mortal she knows that isn't rachel. she could go to rachel, but she has a feeling asking rachel to punch her would be some kind of violation of her truce with percy. (she doubts rachel would, anyway.) she can't be 100% positive adam will be willing to be part of her little experiment, either, but she needs to figure this shit out. she might even ask nicely. sort of. ]
Adam, it's Clarisse. I need you to do something for me. [ okay, so she's not really asking, but... ] Can you meet me outside the mansion ASAP? [ there, that was a question. at least she's not demanding he do so. she's trying. ] It's important.
voice; I AM, ADAM ISN'T. X(
No good thing ever happens when a god, or a part god, or God dials you up, asking you to do something. Oh, hell no, is Adam's first reaction, followed by fuck, no. His gut tells him not to bother, because taking the cheese is how stupid mortal men get into trouble. Fatal, soul-shattering trouble, the kind that starts with "I need you to do something" and "meet me in the Beautiful Room so we can torture you until Dean gives in."
Michael needing a human sacrifice had been important, too, depending on who you asked.
Clarisse isn't one of them, he knows that, and Percy might have even tried to promote their kind as being of better stock, but until Wonderland Adam had been paying off the last mysterious favor he'd done with bits of his humanity.]
Something like what?
[He's wary, and definitely regrets picking up the phone. He thought maybe her calling his device had been about something else, like Luke. What she'd want from him is anybody's guess, but he hadn't been expecting some divine entity to hit him up for a personal meeting, sounding frazzled.
Good thing it's event time or he'd just flat out say "no."]
voice; SORRY NOT SORRY ADAM.
Something like just get your ass out here and I'll explain then. [ she's not going to take no for an answer, adam. and just because she feels like she's at the end of her rope, she grumbles and adds, almost begrudgingly: ] Please. [ congratulations, adam, you'll probably never hear that word escape her lips ever again. ]
voice; CRIES, STOP THROWING HIM OFF, CLARISSE.
But Adam also doesn't do well with them ordering him around anymore. He'd rather take the horns than another passive ride to Hell.]
How about explain now.
[Sure, the wards in his room probably aren't designed for other divine things like gods, but with her practically demanding he come out from behind him, it makes him wonder if he shouldn't stay exactly where he is...
And then she says "please," of all things. That is surprising, considering 1) she doesn't like his face, 2) he's already proven he's a weak human, and 3) Clarisse doesn't seem like she bends for anyone, least of all someone composed of the first two points. That, more than anything, gets his attention. If she's serious, what could she possibly need from him that she can't do herself?
His tone changes, turning more slow and questioning.]
What's going on with you?
voice; NO NEVER SHE IS HERE TO MAKE HIS LIFE DIFFICULT.
it's that fact that has her sighing instead of replying with a string of frustrated demands and expletives. he managed to catch her off guard, entirely by accident, but it's probably better that he did. she doubts he would've taken well to her yelling at him, and that wouldn't have solved anything. the fact that she's actually trying to approach this calmly and rationally says a lot about her patience and determination to actually see this through. she knows threats of violence don't always work, it's usually just easier that way. this time she knows she's going to have to do it the hard way if she actually wants results. she just hates having to be vulnerable to get what she wants. ]
It's — [ she grumbles again, pinching the bridge of her nose as she does so. ] Wonderland. It — It did something to me. Which is why I need you. Everyone else I could ask isn't exactly mortal. [ she can't even ask america, because that crazy motherfucker can apparently grow back limbs. she's not entirely sure what his status is as far as immortality is concerned, but he's definitely not mortal, that's for sure. adam is her only option. ]
voice; SHE IS THE RUDEST THING.
Whoa, whoa, wait-- [He interjects, confused.] What do you think I can do?
[He's more surprised she's holding his mortality up as a virtue than he is about Wonderland doing something to her. In retrospect, maybe he should stop letting Wonderland desensitize him to weirdness.]
voice; HANNIBAL WOULD AGREE...
voice; WOW, AND HE KILLED HER AT FULL STRENGTH, TOO.
[He's a tad insulted by that, even if compared to a demi-god's fists of fury everyone's arm probably seems lousy.]
Let me get this straight so I understand this--you want me to try fighting you and if I win, that's proof Wonderland dumbed you down? This is why no one likes gods or angels.
[Yeah, he should be insulted. Him possibly standing eye-to-eye with someone like her is a sign the world is ending for her. Why doesn't she just ask him to feed her boars for her and kick him in the nuts at the same time?
He sighs. This isn't surprising in the slightest.]
voice; CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP.
but now it's her turn to be a tad bit offended, because, whoa. she's not a god, okay. she's not even close to being on their level, so she'd really appreciate it if he didn't compare them. she might be kind of an asshole, but she's nowhere near godly assholeishness. ]
You know, just for the record, I'm not a god. I'm being straight with you here, Adam. I won't even take a swing at you. [ at least not one that he couldn't dodge. ] I'm just trying to test my reflexes, see if my instincts are still intact, and I can't do that with anyone or anything else. If you don't want to help, fine, just fucking tell me so I don't keep embarrassing myself.
voice; MORTALITY, BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER SINCE 2014.
Thanks.
[Yeah, thanks, don't ask him to hit you and then not hit him back. Because hitting him back would just be weird in all of this.
Sarcasm game is strong today.]
Calm down, it's not like I'm texting everybody in the mansion to tell them you turned klutzy. I don't get it. If Wonderland just nerfed you a bit, wouldn't just be... [Seriously, don't shoot the messenger just because he doesn't know the politically correct terms for this stuff.] ... human? What's so strange about that?
voice;
Mortal. I'm already human. [ well, part human. ] And being mortal means ... [ i'm useless, she doesn't say, because. well. that's probably about as offensive as it gets when the conversation you're currently having is with a mortal. she grumbles, pinching the bridge of her nose. ] Look, it doesn't matter, I just need to figure this shit out.
voice;
Unless Clarisse chooses to break it down for him, he doesn't expect he'll ever get it. Wanting to test her reflexes by having someone get into a fistfight with her doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but Adam's beginning to at least understand that's the language Clarisse seems to be fluent in.]
... All right, fine.
[He's probably going to regret this.]
Where outside?
voice;
Just outside the mansion. I'm already here, so just. You know, don't take all damn day getting down here.
[ and that's all he'll hear from her until he meets her outside. ]